What to Say When Someone Ghosts You? Here’s how to deal

It feels frustrating and stinks to be ghosted. This surely is one of the worst feelings, right? You think things are going well, and then suddenly, the other person just disappears without a trace. There is hardly any explanation, no closure—like you never existed for them. You are not alone if you want to know what to say when someone ghosts you and how to respond to being ghosted.

Ghosting has become too common with the increase in online dating and texting.

But,

Why does ghosting exist?

Why do people do it, and

What do they get from it?

Understanding the term ghosting

Ghosting is when you’re talking to or dating someone with everything going normal. But just then they suddenly cut off all communication, and that too without any explanation. They disappear suddenly and leave, confused and shocked. You may end up thinking that it was because you did something wrong.

According to a study, nearly 25% of people have been ghosted at some point in their lives. Though it’s rude to end a relationship or stop texting without a reason, unfortunately, it’s now become a harsh tactic for a lot of people.

Why would someone ghost you?

• They’re not interested but don’t know how to say it. It could be hard for someone to be upfront and honest about their feelings. So, people like these just disappear rather than having an uncomfortable conversation.
• They’re dealing with their issues. Maybe they’re going through something personal, like mental health struggles or a breakup. These situations are very uncomfortable and often not easy to share. So, instead of communicating, people choose to shut down and ghost.
• They lack maturity and communication skills. Maturity is something that can’t be expected from everyone. Some people don’t have the emotional intelligence to have difficult conversations.
• They’re afraid of confrontation. Arguments are part of a conversation. But, for some people, even a simple argument is threatening. They start feeling under pressure, and to avoid this, they stop the conversation.
• They’ve met someone else. This one is understandable. In this online world of social media and texting, people are just one message away. It’s hard to swallow, but people have more options to talk about now than they did a couple of decades ago.
• They’re not ready for a relationship or friendship. It could be possible that after an initial series of messages, somehow they decided to stop talking. This usually happens when they are still exploring new connections.

It doesn’t matter what’s the reason, but nobody wants or likes to be ghosted. It leaves you feeling confused, rejected, and questioning everything about the conversation. You’re left with no closure, no explanation, and a whole lot of unanswered questions.

How do you respond to being ghosted?

When someone ghosts you, it’s important to know that ghosting is a reflection of the ghost instead of yours. Ghosting is more about the character of the person who ghosts than about your worth. It won’t be so easy, but you should avoid lashing out or trying to force a response from the ghost. Otherwise, any kind of tempting or angry message is going to make you feel worse in the end. Instead, try to tackle it differently. Here are some more examples of what could be said to the ghost:

• “I’ve noticed you’ve gone silent, and I thought to check in to see if everything is okay between us. If you’re no longer interested in continuing our conversation, then I’ll appreciate you letting me know.”
• “Your sudden disappearance made me feel confused and hurt. I would like to understand what happened and would respect your decision to end things this way.”
• “I’m sorry if something upsets you, but ghosting me is not an appropriate way to handle things. I understand if you need space, but please let me know so I can respect your boundaries.”
• “I appreciate the time we spent together, but your sudden silence is puzzling me. If I’ve done something wrong, I’m open to discussing it. In case you simply lost interest, a brief message letting me know would make sense.”
• “I understand that you may be going through something personal. But your decision to ghost me is disrespectful and unsure. If you’re no longer interested in continuing the conversation, then I would appreciate the courtesy of letting me know.”
• “Maybe you don’t want to be upfront about your feelings. But I’m here to listen if you ever change your mind and want to have an open and honest conversation.”

How to get over being ghosted by someone

Self-care is important when dealing with situations like ghosting. You may feel hurt and confused, but still, taking care of yourself both physically and mentally is important. Here is what you can do to get over being ghosted by someone.

1. Lean on your support system.

Reach out to someone you can trust. It can be your close friends and family members. Share your feelings with them, because a strong support system from family and friends does make a difference.

2. Practice self-compassion.

Be kind to yourself during this time. Also, it’s important to not rationalize the ghost’s behavior and blame yourself. Instead, remind yourself that you did nothing wrong.

3. Do things that make you feel good.

Take a bath, go for a walk, or watch your favorite movie to relax. These activities will bring you comfort and joy

4. Seek professional help if needed.

You must visit a therapist or a counselor if you are not able to heal yourself. These professionals have all the tools and support to help you.

Conclusion

It’s important to have faith and trust in human connection. So, start putting yourself back out there when you’re ready again. This could be either in the dating world or in rebuilding friendships. But take your time, and do not be afraid to set clear boundaries and expectations. This would be the best way to respond to ghosting.

You are unique and worthy of love, but you have to trust the process. Only you can choose to let people into your life or not. Also, do remember that the right person will appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.